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Funniest Thing You Never Said 2
Par Rosemarie Jarski. 2010
The bestselling, blockbusting, bumper book of humorous quotations rides back into town with 6,000 more hilariously funny quotes. From times…
past to the modern day, classic funnies to contemporary wit, The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 delivers an unbeatable selection of fantastic and hilarious quotes on every subject under the sun. Featuring topics as diverse as celebrity to religion, and including a cast of quotees ranging from Oscar Wilde to Homer Simpson, there's something here for everyone with a sense of humour.'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.' - Samuel Johnson'Glastonbury was very wet and muddy. There was trench foot, dysentery, peaches ... all the Geldof daughters.' - Sean Lock'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.' - Richard Nixon'I've had more women than most people have noses.' - Steve Martin'I have the simplest tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.' - Oscar Wilde 'Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueenThe Malay Archipelago
Par Alfred Russel Wallace. 2014
Of all the extraordinary Victorian travelogues, The Malay Archipelago has a fair claim to be the greatest - both as…
a beautiful, alarming, vivid and gripping account of some eight years' travel across the entire Malay world - from Singapore to the western edges of New Guinea - and as the record of a great mind. As Wallace, often under conditions of terrible hardship and sickness, battles through jungles, lives with headhunters, and collects beetles, butterflies and birds-of-paradise, he makes discoveries about the workings of biology that have shaped our view of the world ever since.Landmarks
Par Robert Macfarlane. 2015
SHORTLISTED FOR THE SAMUEL JOHNSON PRIZESHORTLISTED FOR THE WAINWRIGHT PRIZEFrom the bestselling author of UNDERLAND, THE OLD WAYS and THE…
LOST WORDS'Few books give such a sense of enchantment; it is a book to give to many, and to return to repeatedly' Independent 'Enormously pleasurable, deeply moving. A bid to save our rich hoard of landscape language, and a blow struck for the power of a deep creative relationship to place' Financial Times'A book that ought to be read by policymakers, educators, armchair environmentalists and active conservationists the world over' Guardian 'Gorgeous, thoughtful and lyrical' Independent on Sunday'Feels as if [it] somehow grew out of the land itself. A delight' Sunday TimesDiscover Robert Macfarlane's joyous meditation on words, landscape and the relationship between the two.Words are grained into our landscapes, and landscapes are grained into our words. Landmarks is about the power of language to shape our sense of place. It is a field guide to the literature of nature, and a glossary containing thousands of remarkable words used in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales to describe land, nature and weather.Travelling from Cumbria to the Cairngorms, and exploring the landscapes of Roger Deakin, J. A. Baker, Nan Shepherd and others, Robert Macfarlane shows that language, well used, is a keen way of knowing landscape, and a vital means of coming to love it.Keep Calm for Chaps: Good Advice for Hard Times
Par Various. 2011
My word, it just gets worse and worse doesn't it? Collapsing banks, collapsing countries, massive government cuts, rising debt, inflation…
and a double dip recession. It's amid all this uncertainty that the already embattled modern man needs the best advice he can get about how to be the best he can. Keep Calm for Chaps offers the same pearls of life wisdom, inspirational quotes, proverbs and mantras as Keep Calm and Carry On, but especially for males at their wits' end. A pocket bible for today's man.'Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway' John Wayne'A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials' Lucius Annaeus Seneca 'When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her' Sacha Guitry'Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff' Robert Eliot'If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter' Albert A GrantLa Belle Saison
Par Patricia Atkinson. 2005
How often have you eaten a mushroom that you picked yourself that morning? Or sat on a boat opening and…
eating oysters as you lift them from the sea? Or partaken of a seven course feast of game to celebrate the success of the chasse? When Patricia Atkinson - bestselling author of The Ripening Sun - first moved to France, her intention was simply to establish a vineyard. Over the years, however, she found herself becoming integrated into a way of life that, had she stayed in England, she would hardly have believed existed. Grounded in the rhythms of the land and the seasons, daily life in Patricia's south-western corner of France is dictated by a series of rituals and celebrations that we have long lost in our supermarket age.La Belle Saison is Patricia's eulogy to this way of life: a testament to the timelessness of the beautiful French countryside, the bounty of the land, and the generous-hearted French neighbours who showed Patricia that a simple life has many rewards. In France, every season is 'la belle saison', offering up its gifts to those willing to appreciate and look after the land.Keep Calm at Christmas
Par Various. 2011
Everyone knows 'tis the season to be jolly; when you can roast chestnuts on an open fire, treetops glisten and…
sleigh bells ring alongside the sound of small children's laughter. However, if you don't think Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year then reach for Keep Calm at Christmas and let its soothing advice reassure you that Christmas comes but once a year.Keep Calm at Christmas follows Keep Calm for Ladies and Keep Calm for Chaps and offers many merry pearls of wisdom to help you get through the festive season; on everything from relatives to office parties, and gluttony to new year resolutions. An insighftul pocket gift for Christmas.'What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day' Phyllis Diller'About all you can do is dream of a white Christmas, for it seems like it always leaves most of us in the red' Anon'Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice' Anon 'Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit' Kin Hubbard'New Year's Day... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual' Mark TwainIncomplete Shakespeare: Macbeth
Par John Crace, John Sutherland. 2016
‘Give me the daggers and I’ll pin the blame/ On Duncan’s grooms who both are also slain. /A little water…
clears us of this deed /Though a large scotch might also do the trick...’ To celebrate the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare's death, this is the first of a new collection of the Bard's greatest plays, digested to a few thousand words with invaluable side notes from John Sutherland. Funny and incredibly clever, these parodies are a joy for those who know their Shakespeare, perfect for the theatre goer needing a quick recap, and a massive relief for those just desperate to pass their English exam.This ebook has a large amount of footnotes and is best viewed on a device that supports pop-up text.A Ladybird First Grown-Up Picture Book (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
Par Jason Hazeley, Joel Morris. 2017
THE PERFECT GIFT for all of the 'GROWN-UPS' still wondering what life is all about. Talking about the farmer's market:How…
much are these carrots? What, per kilogram?Each? Really? What does 'heritage' mean? Could I just have an onion, then, please?Oh. Do you take credit cards?_____________Talking about running:Why am I running? Where am I going?Do I want a longer life if I have to spend so much of it running?Why aren't I at home? Am I running away from home? Am I scared of home? Why is my brain full of weird, horrible thoughts? Is it because running is so very, very boring? Why did I forget my headphones? This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' StylistThe Inbetweeners Scriptbook
Par Damon Beesley, Iain Morris. 2012
Following on from last year’s huge Sunday Times bestseller, The Inbetweeners Yearbook, comes The Inbetweeners Script Book, the perfect gift…
for all die-hard Inbetweeners fan and lovers of fine award-winning literature. The book features all eighteen scripts of the televised show, each with its own introduction from the writers and creators, Damon Beesley and Iain Morris, sharing behind the scenes stories about filming, the writing process, and the real events that inspired the show’s storylines.In Your Prime: Older, Wiser, Happier
Par India Knight. 2014
Humane, witty, wise and full of practical advice: India Knight's guide to ageing is the book every woman has been…
waiting for.'Our mothers' fifty is not our fifty. We have no map, no blueprint, no nothing. We have no sense of what is and isn't age-appropriate, or even of whether age-appropriateness is still relevant. We're supposed to be grown-up, but we seldom feel it.'Part guide, part memoir, part manual, in In Your Prime India Knight seeks to provide proper, weighty answers to the questions women are asking themselves now. Covering a wide range of subjects from clothes and cosmetics, being a parent to older children, having older parents and what that entails, and of course, the menopause, In Your Prime is the definitive, much-needed guide to approaching middle age with confidence and panache.India Knight is the author of three previous novels: My Life on a Plate, Don't You Want Me and Comfort and Joy. Her non-fiction books include The Shops, the bestselling diet book Neris and India's Idiot-Proof Diet, the accompanying bestselling cookbook Neris and India's Idiot-Proof Diet Cookbook and The Thrift Book. India is a columnist for the Sunday Times and lives in London with her three children.Life on the Golden Horn
Par Mary Wortley Montagu. 2007
Travelling through the wartorn Balkans with her husband on what proved to be a wholly useless diplomatic mission to Constantinople,…
Mary Wortley Montagu (1689-1762) left a vivid, informative, clever account of her adventures in the mysterious, sophisticated culture of Ottoman palaces, bathing places and courts which - even as her husband's career was falling apart - she could not have enjoyed more.Great Journeys allows readers to travel both around the planet and back through the centuries – but also back into ideas and worlds frightening, ruthless and cruel in different ways from our own. Few reading experiences can begin to match that of engaging with writers who saw astounding things: Great civilisations, walls of ice, violent and implacable jungles, deserts and mountains, multitudes of birds and flowers new to science. Reading these books is to see the world afresh, to rediscover a time when many cultures were quite strange to each other, where legends and stories were treated as facts and in which so much was still to be discovered.Knee Deep in Life: Wife, Mother, Realist… and why we’re already enough
Par Laura Belbin. 2020
SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'I just howled. Bloomin' love you' Giovanna Fletcher'You're hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh every day' Mrs…
Hinch When does Mary Effing Poppins arrive? Laura Belbin survived hitting her thirties (oh, to be wrinkle-free again), anxiety (just), motherhood (two adorable little shits) and the new body that went with it (a left tit that sags slightly more than the right, anyone?). In Knee Deep in Life she gives a fearless and filthy account of her transformation from no-responsibilities woman to being in demand 24/7, the heartaches and humiliations, and most importantly, her (definitely-pushed-to-the-limits-but-totally-indestructible) marriage to Steve, the man who helped her to hold it together when post-natal depression kicked in.Full of heart and wit - not to mention swearing that would make a sailor blush - this is the beast of a book Laura intends on riding into the hands of those people who doubt themselves every single day: the ones who have struggled to accept the way they look; the mums-to-be about to find themselves taking their first step towards parenthood; and the women bossing it like badasses every single day but never getting the credit they deserve. You are more than enough.Kitchener's Last Volunteer: The Life of Henry Allingham, the Oldest Surviving Veteran of the Great War
Par Dennis Goodwin, Henry Allingham. 2008
Henry Allingham is the last British serviceman alive to have volunteered for active duty in the First World War and…
is one of very few people who can directly recall the horror of that conflict. In Kitchener's Last Volunteer, he vividly recaptures how life was lived in the Edwardian era and how it was altered irrevocably by the slaughter of millions of men in the Great War, and by the subsequent coming of the modern age.Henry is unique in that he saw action on land, sea and in the air with the British Naval Air Service. He was present at the Battle of Jutland in 1916 with the British Grand Fleet and went on to serve on the Western Front. He befriended several of the young pilots who would lose their lives, and he himself suffered the privations of the front line under fire.In recent years, Henry was given the opportunity to tell his remarkable story to a wider audience through a BBC documentary, and he has since become a hero to many, meeting royalty and having many honours bestowed upon him.This is the touching story of an ordinary man's extraordinary life - one who has outlived six monarchs and twenty-one prime ministers, and who represents a last link to a vital point in our nation's history.Just Like Mum Says: A Book of Mum's Wit
Par Rosemarie Jarski. 2009
'Having a baby is like watching two very inefficient removal men trying to get a very large sofa through a…
very small doorway, only in this case you can't say, "Oh, sod it, bring it through the French windows"' Victoria Wood'It's not easy being a mother. If it were, fathers would do it' Dorothy, The Golden Girls Motherhood is a tough job and a serious business. Which means there's all the more reason to step back and see the funny side of it, and Just Like Mum Says is packed with humorous insights and wry observations on all matters maternal.Tracing the course of mothering through pregnancy, the terrible twos, the teenage years and the empty nest, Just Like Mum Says includes wise and witty words from celebrated matriarchs from Marge Simpson to Sharon Osbourne, and Victoria Beckham to Victoria Wood.In short, Just Like Mum Says amuses, delights, enlightens and touches the heart - just like Mum.'When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job' RoseanneJust Like Dad Says: A Book of Dad's Wit
Par Geoff Tibballs. 2009
'I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood' Homer SimpsonFathers come in many guises - wise or silly,…
strict or kind. They can make you laugh and they can make you cringe. They can drive you home and they can drive you mad ...In Just Like Dad Says, wise and witty words from the likes of Billy Connolly, Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Milligan and Homer Simpson cover everything from the joy of being a new dad to waving kids off as they - finally - leave home. Old and new, laugh-out-loud funny or wickedly dry, Just Like Dad Says is the best ever collection of quotes by and about Dad. 'My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo' Bob Monkhouse'Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective' P.J. O'RourkeLife Lessons from Remarkable Women: Tales of Triumph, Failure and Learning to Love Yourself
Par Stylist Magazine. 2018
If you could share one lesson from your life with every woman, what would it be?Stylist magazine has asked that…
question of remarkable women from the worlds of entertainment, politics, sport and fashion. With honesty, wit and a serious no-BS attitude, their lessons address the challenges every woman faces today, from climbing the career ladder and finding inner fulfilment, to forging authentic relationships and overcoming life's setbacks.Each of these impressive women, including actress Romola Garai and comedian Francesca Martinez, has a tale to tell and an experience to share. Empowering, engaging and unapologetically impassioned, their incisive observations will make you think, reflect - and kick serious ass. These are life lessons for women, by women.Life In A Postcard
Par Rosemary Bailey. 2002
'I wake to the sun striking gold on a stone wall. If I lean out of the window I can…
see Mount Canigou newly iced with snow. It is wonderful to live in a building with windows all around, to see both sunrise and sunset, to be constantly aware of the passage of the sun and moon.' In 1988, Rosemary Bailey and her husband were travelling in the French Pyrenees when they fell in love with, and subsequently bought, a ruined medieval monastery, surrounded by peach orchards and snow-capped peaks. Traces of the monks were everywhere, in the frescoed 13th century chapel, the buried crypt, the stone arches of the cloister. For the next few years the couple visited Corbiac whenever they could, until in 1997, they took the plunge and moved from central London to rural France with their six-year-old son. Entirely reliant on their earnings as freelance writers, they put their Apple Macs in the room with the fewest leaks and sent Theo to the village school. With vision and determination they have restored the monastery to its former glory, testing their relationship and resolve to the limit, and finding unexpected inspiration in the place.Life in a Postcard is not just Rosemary Bailey's enthralling account of the challenges of life in a small mountain community, but also a celebration of the rugged beauty of French Catalonia, the pleasures of Catalan cooking, and an exploration of an alternative, often magical world.Jeremy Strong's Laugh-Your-Socks-Off Joke Book
Par Amanda Li, Jeremy Strong. 2008
Is it time to pause for breath? No because there’s also Streaker the dog, indoor pirates, trolls and superheroes AND…
karate kicking and time-travelling AND mad grannies and so much more.Featuring a brand new short-story by Jeremy, the Laugh-Your-Socks-Off Joke Book is jam-packed with jokes, quizzes,puzzles and games, plus extracts from all your favourite stories.Warning! No Knock-knock’s were used in the making of this book.In The Footsteps Of Alexander The Great
Par Michael Wood. 2004
Michael Wood retraces Alexander the Greats amazing journey from Greece to India, searching for the truth behind the legend and…
experiencing the tremendous scale of his achievements. Using the ancient historians as his guides, Wood follows Alexanders journey as closely as possible, crossing deserts and rivers, from Turkey to war-torn Afghanistan. As the journey progresses, he recreates the drama of Alexanders epic marches and bloody battles. All along the way he finds proof of the survival of the legends surrounding Alexander, a leader whose life has excited the worlds imagination for the 2,000 years. 'Wood tells a glorious story with some very dark shadows.' New York Times 'Wood is a perceptive, entertaining and enthusiastic companion.' Sunday Times 'Wood is a lively storyteller.' The Washington PostIn Flanders Fields: Scottish Poetry and Prose of the First World War
Par Trevor Royle. 1990
This anthology is the first ever acknowledgement of Scotland's unique contribution to the literature of the First World War. Here…
are gathered together well-known writers like John Buchan, Eric Linklater, Hugh MacDiarmid and Compton Mackenzie, as well as poets like Joseph Lee and Roderick Watson Kerr, who found their true voices fighting in a war to end wars. There is also a substantial contribution from women writers in the work of Violet Jacob, Naomi Mitchison and Mary Symon.