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The Ladybird Book of Balls: The perfect gift for fans of the World Cup (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
Par Jason Hazeley, Joel Morris. 2017
THE PERFECT FATHER'S DAY GIFT for those obsessed with the World Cup.__________________________________'If Ben were only happy when his favourite team…
did well, he would not be happy very often.Instead Ben is happy whenever a team he hates does badly.There are lots and lots of those.'__________________________________'BBC Radio 5 Live has cut away from coverage of the worst mainland terrorist atrocity in decades because there is an important update from the curling.Otherwise, regular listeners will complain.'__________________________________This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.'Hilarious' StylistOther new titles for Autumn 2017:How it Works: The BrotherHow it Works: The SisterHow it Works: The BabyThe Ladybird Book of the ExThe Ladybird Book of the NerdThe Ladybird Book of the New YouThe Ladybird Book of the Big Night OutThe Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night InPeople at Work: The Rock StarA Ladybird First Grown-Up Picture BookPrevious titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:How it Works: The HusbandHow it Works: The WifeHow it Works: The MumHow it Works: The DadThe Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life CrisisThe Ladybird Book of the HangoverThe Ladybird Book of MindfulnessThe Ladybird Book of the ShedThe Ladybird Book of DatingThe Ladybird Book of the HipsterHow it Works: The StudentHow it Works: The CatHow it Works: The DogHow it Works: The GrandparentThe Ladybird Book of Red TapeThe Ladybird Book of the People Next DoorThe Ladybird Book of the SickieThe Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseThe Ladybird Book of the Do-GooderA Ladybird Book About Donald Trump (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
Par Jason Hazeley, Joel Morris. 2019
As we prepare to wave the President out of the White House, commemorate the past four years with this charming…
introduction to his very important life and his many, many friends - the perfect stocking filler this Christmas._________'When Donald won the election, he did not believe it."This election was a bad, unfair election," said Donald, about the election that he won.One day, Donald might lose an election. He will not like that election at all.And when Donald is told it is time to stop being the President, who knows what exciting things will happen next?'_________'Anyone can grow up to become the President.Or they can become President first and think about growing up later.'_________This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.Something the President himself could do with.The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope.Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.Praise for The Story of Brexit:'Hilarious' Stylist'One of the Best Comedy Books of 2018' The List'The latest offering in the hilarious Ladybird for Grown Ups series is a funny mickey-take of the Brexit debate (and boy, do we need some fun)' Sunday PostJuche - How to Live Well the North Korean Way
Par B. J. Lovegood. 2020
'Game changing. Juche is to shape the cultural zeitgeist just as The Little Book of Hygge did.' Fern Brady'A book…
to bring shame upon our depraved morals and our wilted-spinach governments.' Ivo GrahamHow did North Korea become the top-rated destination on Tripadvisor? The answer is Juche ...'In this earth-quaking lifestyle manifesto, I, Comrade Hyun-gi, will share with you the blueprint to a healthier, happier way of life. Juche will teach you westerners how sleeping under your desk yields a better work/life balance; why food rationing promotes a greater generosity of spirit; how sealed borders prevent the agony of long-distance relationships and why pensions prevent people from living in the moment. So come, dear Comrade, and step free from the landmines and tripwires of capitalism and march with me towards the socialist dawn that awaits us all.''As dry as it is daft - I loved it.' Jordan BrookesI’m Sure I Speak For Many Others…: Unpublished letters to the BBC
Par Colin Shindler. 2017
'Dear Mr. Adam, I am writing on behalf of the Central Watch and Social Problems Committee of the Mothers' Union…
to ask whether you have a programme in mind on the moral issue of venereal disease.''Sir, Where are the B.B.C's censors? We do not care for the language that was inflicted on us Tuesday night in "The Battle of Britain". Don't retort, 'You need not listen if you don't want to'. We did not know it was coming.''Dear Mr. Frost, Let me start by saying how much I enjoy your programme & that I was among those many who felt almost that they had lost a blowsy old friend when dear & vulgar, but nonetheless thought-provoking and funny TW3 went off the air.'For anyone who regularly feels tempted to put pen to paper, I'm Sure I Speak For Many Others is an alternative history of the BBC, from its triumphant broadcast of the coronation in 1953, to that Tynan moment, the controversial That Was The Week That Was, and the groundbreaking Grange Hill.Stretching across over forty years of programming, these never before seen letters represent the joy, the fury and the wit of the nation.I'm Chevy Chase ... and You're Not: The Authorized Biography
Par Rena Fruchter. 2007
Chevy Chase is a much-loved Hollywood star. His success as a writer and actor on Saturday Night Live in the…
70s made him a household name. It had been a long, hard route to the top for Chevy. Behind the fame lay a childhood riddled with abuse. But his remarkable strength and determination helped him rise above it and find his talent as an actor, writer, comedian, and musician. Best known for his role in the National Lampoon Vacation series Chevy has starred in some of the greatest comedies of our time. His latest film, Funny Money, received critical acclaim at the Sarasota Film Festival.Now, for the first time, Chevy speaks openly and candidly about his career, his personal struggle with drugs, his friendship with three American Presidents, and his family life. Honest, funny and informative, this is the complex and fascinating world of Chevy Chase.Stunningly illustrated by David Squires (as featured in the Guardian), The Illustrated History of Football is a wry look at…
the highs and lows of the beautiful game. Laugh-out- loud and occasionally moving, it's the perfect gift for anyone who loves football.'Squires is the master of the football comic strip and this collection is recommended reading for enlightened football fans everywhere' -- Late Tackle'No one captures the absurdities and ugliness of football better than him ... hilarious' -- Coach Magazine'[Illustrated History of Football] is the funniest football tome since Viz's Billy the Fish Football Yearbook, published 26 years earlier' -- Esquire'Simply brilliant - my favourite football book' -- ***** Reader review'Completely amazing cartoons with beautiful insight as to the how, why, when & wow' -- ***** Reader review'Simply wonderful' -- ***** Reader review'One of the funniest books I've read in a very long time. A must for anyone who loves football' -- ***** Reader review*********************************************************************************************Football and comics. Once a hearty Saturday combination to match cartoons and cereal, in recent years they've drifted apart. Thankfully for us, illustrator Squires is here to change all that.In The Illustrated History of Football, his first book, Squires relives some of football's most glorious moments and meets its greatest figures. In a sport full of handsome paycheques and corporate sponsors, he also casts a critical eye over corrupt backroom workings and helps pierce football's overblown balloon.Funny, good-looking and preternaturally astute, this book is everything Sepp Blatter wishes he could be.More than the archetypal loo book, this is a satirical look at the highs and lows of football and the perfect gift for all fans...The José Mourinho Quote Book
Par Ebury Press. 2014
‘Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.’ Widely known for his…
strong personality, sharp dress sense, and eccentric comments at press conferences, there is only one José Mourinho. Regarded as many by the world’s best manager and one of the greatest of all time, he achieved huge success whilst at Benfica, Uniao de Leiria, Porto, Chelsea, Internazionale and Real Madrid. Never one to doubt his own abilities, the charismatic and controversial manager has dominated headlines with his many clashes with the press and run-ins with the football authorities. Silver-tongued and passionate, this compendium of quotes from the ‘special one’ includes the very best of Mourinho on football: his erudite comments, bizarre philosophies, confident expressions of unwavering self-belief and his love of the beautiful game. ‘Look, I'm a coach, I'm not Harry Potter. He is magical, but in reality there is no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real.’ A warning to Real Madrid fans, 2010 ‘Look at my haircut. I am ready for the war.’ At the launch of a new shirt deal between Chelsea and Adidas. The event also became a chance to unveil his new, short-trimmed haircut. ‘I think they should get George Clooney to play me. He's a fantastic actor and my wife thinks he would be ideal.’ Contemplating a film of his lifeI'll Die After Bingo: My unlikely life as a care home assistant
Par Pope Lonergan. 2022
Nominated for the Chortle Comedy Book Award 2023'Blisteringly well written, deeply humane and very funny' Daily Telegraph'Enough to make you…
die laughing' Daily Mail'Funny and moving' Daily ExpressWhether he's initiating a coup d'état against new regulations with the residents, or forging a bond with the 98-year old who once called him a fat slut, Pope Lonergan's work is infinitely varied. This no-holds-barred account shows what life inside a care home is really like, for both residents and carers. Featuring night-time drama, incontinence pads and the uniquely dark humour of one double-amputee Alzheimer's patient, here you can learn everything you ever wanted to know (and a few things you probably really didn't) about Britain's care system.This important memoir challenges us all to think differently about the value of our elderly, and also the carers who look after them.If You’d Just Let Me Finish
Par Jeremy Clarkson. 2018
Clarkson is back with a brand new book of hilarious stories and observations about our gone-wrong world. ___________In November 2016…
we woke up to the news that the forthright presenter of a popular television programme had become the most powerful man on the planet. His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been.Because the world seems to have taken a decidedly odd turn since Jeremy last reflected on the state of things between the covers of a book. But who better than JC to help us navigate our way through the mess?And while he's being trying to make sense of it all he's discovered one or two things along the way, including- The disabling effects of being vegan- How Blackpool might be improved by drilling a hole through it- The problem with meditation- A perfect location for rebuilding Palmyra- Why Tom Cruise can worship lizards if he wants toIt's all been a bit unsettling.But don't worry. If You'd Just Let Me Finish is Clarkson at his best. He may be as bemused, exasperated, amused and surprised as the rest of us, but in a world gone crazy, thank God someone has still got his head screwed on ...Praise for Clarkson:'Brilliant...laugh-out-loud' - Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny...will have you in stiches' - Time Out'Very funny...I cracked up laughing on the tube' - Evening StandardJokes for Blokes: The Ultimate Book of Jokes not Suitable for Mixed Company
Par Llewellyn Dowd, Phil McCracken. 2011
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 9 pintsWhat do you call a man with a…
2 inch penis? JustinWhat's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crosswordDid you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminalsAn aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?'A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!'The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...I Know You Got Soul
Par Jeremy Clarkson. 2005
In I Know You Got Soul, Jeremy Clarkson writes about the machines that he believes have 'soul'. It will come…
as no surprise to anyone that Jeremy Clarkson loves machines. But it's not just any old bucket of blots, cogs and bearings that rings his bell. In fact, he's scoured the length and breadth of the land, plunged into the oceans and taken to the skies in search of machines with that elusive certain something.And along the way he's discovered:* The safest place to be in the event of nuclear war* Who would win if Superman, James Bond and The Terminator had a fight* The stupidest person he's ever met* What an old Cornish institution called Arthur has to do with 0898chat lines* And how Jean Claude Van Damme might get eaten by a lion . . .In I Know You Got Soul, Jeremy Clarkson tells stories of the geniuses, innovators and crackpots who put the ghost in the machine. From Brunel's SS Great Britain to the awesome Blackbird spy-plane and from the woeful - but inspiring - Graf Zeppelin to Han Solo's Millennium Falcon, they can't help but love them in return.Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening StandardThe Horsemeat Cookbook
Par Chris Windle. 2013
The word is out: horses really are for courses. Interest in cooking with horsemeat has been piqued by the recent…
horsemeat scandal, with butchers across the UK reporting customers curious to try it for themselves. Destined to become a firm favourite, horse is galloping onto the nation’s menus. Across the world it is considered a delicacy, a lean and delicious meat and a great addition to a stable diet. So the time has come to take the reins and get cooking: The Horsemeat Cookbook is a fun, light-hearted recipe book aimed at the gift book market and those interested in cooking with this healthy, low–calorie meat. Recipes will include classics such as the Italian Pastissada de Caval and Pot-au-feu de cheval, a traditional French horse stew; Yuk Hui, a Korean raw horse salad; and Beshbarmak, the national dish of Khazakhstan.Complete with information on nutritional benefits, cooking times and guides on which cuts to use for which dish, with The Horsemeat Cookbook your family and dinner guests will be chomping at the bit for more. And along with all that, there are even some horsemeat jokes thrown in for good measure.Homework Sucks!: A Drivetime Book of Really Useful Information
Par Simon Mayo. 2012
Can a crocodile spit? What does the Queen have for dinner? How do you measure a rainbow? Why is q…
always followed by u?Originally open for children to phone in with their homework issues, these days the ‘Homework Sucks’ segment of Simon Mayo’s award-winning Drivetime show invites listeners of all ages to send in questions they've always wanted to ask. Because the chances are a member of the very clever Radio 2 audience will have an answer. So now all you need to do is learn the contents of this book by heart. We apologize if, in the process, you become:a) smarter b) more interesting c) better at pub quizzes d) all of the aboveGot a question? Got a better answer? Join in! #homeworksucksHomer's Odyssey: An Embiggened Simpsons Guide
Par Four Finger Discount. 2017
Remember when The Simpsons was the funniest show on television?The Simpsons is the longest running comedy in history. Gracing our…
screens since 1989, with over 600 episodes, the show is a cultural phenomenon. Whilst it is still drawing huge ratings numbers, there is no argument that during the 90s the show was at its zenith. No other comedy has had as big an impact on society. The Simpsons has influenced the way we communicate with each other. Niche quotes and references have become the secret handshake of millions around the world. In the course of this book, we remember the iconic characters – Hank Scorpio and Lionel Hutz, Rex Banner and Frank Grimes - and we dissect seminal episodes such as Cape Feare, Marge Vs the Monorail and Who Shot Mr. Burns.From celebrity cameos to musical moments, from hidden jokes to insane trivia, this is the essential companion to golden age of The Simpsons. Homer’s Odyssey is a hilarious, intelligent and in-depth analysis of the greatest show on earth. So grab yourself a Flaming Moe, settle in to your groove on the couch, and enjoy our guide to your favourite yellow family.It's Earlier 'Tis Getting: The Christmas Book of Irish Mammies
Par Colm O'Regan. 2014
Christmas – a time for peace, joy and Mammies. While others are focusing on Santa/Santy, the school nativity play, the…
office party and its wild cousin the Twelve Pubs, panicked present shopping and the delicate diplomacy of in-law visiting, the Irish Mammy is mobilized in her war-room – ready for the campaign. Electric blankets have been set to maximum power; cards have been despatched; the turkey has been ordered; the decorations have been retrieved from the Place Where The Decorations Go and the fifth Big Shop (to get breadcrumbs) has been completed. There are homecomings from near and far, new arrivals, drama, bustle, tears and laughter, and Mammy at the heart of it all, directing operations. There’s bound to be something she’s forgotten – but luckily, just like a certain someone, she’s made a list.It's A Boy Girl Thing
Par Anne Finnis. 2003
If you've ever wondered what boys really think of girls and what girls really think of boys, this is your…
chance to find out. Do boys think girls have a better dress sense? Do girls think boys are better at maths and science? And who has the most disgusting habits? Packed full of opinions, from the ridiculous to the frighteningly spot-on, this book might make you mad, it might make you laugh out loud and it will certainly surprise you.I, Robot: How to Be a Footballer 2
Par Peter Crouch. 2019
**A Daily Mail Book of the Year**What happens on the pitch is only half the story. Being a footballer is…
not just kicking a ball about with twenty-one other people on a big grass rectangle. Sometimes being a footballer is about accidentally becoming best mates with Mickey Rourke, or understanding why spitting is considered football’s most heinous crime.In How to be a Footballer, Peter Crouch took us into a world of bad tattoos and even worse haircuts, a world where you’re on the pitch one minute, spending too much money on a personalised number plate the next. In I, Robot, he lifts the lid even further on the beautiful game. We will learn about Gareth Bale’s magic beans, the Golden Rhombus of Saturday night entertainment, and why Crouchy’s dad walks his dog wearing an England tracksuit from 2005. Whether you’re an armchair expert, or out in the stands every Saturday, crazy for five-a-side or haven’t put on a pair of boots since school, this is the real inside story of how to be a footballer.I Never Knew There Was a Word For It
Par Adam Jacot de Boinod. 2010
From 'shotclog', a Yorkshire term for a companion only tolerated because he is paying for the drinks, to Albanian having…
29 words to describe different kinds of eyebrows, the languages of the world are full of amazing, amusing and illuminating words and expressions that will improve absolutely everybody's quality of life. All they need is this book! This bumper volume gathers all three of Adam Jacot de Boinod's acclaimed books about language - The Wonder of Whiffling, The Meaning of Tingo and Toujours Tingo (their fans include everyone from Stephen Fry to Michael Palin) - into one highly entertaining, keenly priced compendium. As Mariella Frostup said 'You'll never be lost for words again!'Is This Supposed to be Funny?
Par Hugleikur Dagsson. 2007
Hugleikur Dagsson is the most famous cartoonist in Iceland.Iceland is very cold, very bleak and very expensive. The only things…
to do there are drink and kill whales. Dagsson’s last book – Should you be laughing at this? – was a cu*t international bestseller. He hopes you likes this one. Otherwise he’ll have to kill some whales.Is This Some Kind of Joke?
Par Hugleikur Dagsson. 2008
Hugleikur Dagsson is the most famous cartoonist in Iceland.Iceland is very cold, very bleak and very expensive. The only things…
to do there are drink and kill whales. Dagsson’s last book – Is This Supposed To Be Funny? – was a cult international bestseller. He hopes you likes this one. Otherwise he’ll have to kill some whales