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Homework Sucks!: A Drivetime Book of Really Useful Information
Par Simon Mayo. 2012
Can a crocodile spit? What does the Queen have for dinner? How do you measure a rainbow? Why is q…
always followed by u?Originally open for children to phone in with their homework issues, these days the ‘Homework Sucks’ segment of Simon Mayo’s award-winning Drivetime show invites listeners of all ages to send in questions they've always wanted to ask. Because the chances are a member of the very clever Radio 2 audience will have an answer. So now all you need to do is learn the contents of this book by heart. We apologize if, in the process, you become:a) smarter b) more interesting c) better at pub quizzes d) all of the aboveGot a question? Got a better answer? Join in! #homeworksucksHomer's Odyssey: An Embiggened Simpsons Guide
Par Four Finger Discount. 2017
Remember when The Simpsons was the funniest show on television?The Simpsons is the longest running comedy in history. Gracing our…
screens since 1989, with over 600 episodes, the show is a cultural phenomenon. Whilst it is still drawing huge ratings numbers, there is no argument that during the 90s the show was at its zenith. No other comedy has had as big an impact on society. The Simpsons has influenced the way we communicate with each other. Niche quotes and references have become the secret handshake of millions around the world. In the course of this book, we remember the iconic characters – Hank Scorpio and Lionel Hutz, Rex Banner and Frank Grimes - and we dissect seminal episodes such as Cape Feare, Marge Vs the Monorail and Who Shot Mr. Burns.From celebrity cameos to musical moments, from hidden jokes to insane trivia, this is the essential companion to golden age of The Simpsons. Homer’s Odyssey is a hilarious, intelligent and in-depth analysis of the greatest show on earth. So grab yourself a Flaming Moe, settle in to your groove on the couch, and enjoy our guide to your favourite yellow family.It's Earlier 'Tis Getting: The Christmas Book of Irish Mammies
Par Colm O'Regan. 2014
Christmas – a time for peace, joy and Mammies. While others are focusing on Santa/Santy, the school nativity play, the…
office party and its wild cousin the Twelve Pubs, panicked present shopping and the delicate diplomacy of in-law visiting, the Irish Mammy is mobilized in her war-room – ready for the campaign. Electric blankets have been set to maximum power; cards have been despatched; the turkey has been ordered; the decorations have been retrieved from the Place Where The Decorations Go and the fifth Big Shop (to get breadcrumbs) has been completed. There are homecomings from near and far, new arrivals, drama, bustle, tears and laughter, and Mammy at the heart of it all, directing operations. There’s bound to be something she’s forgotten – but luckily, just like a certain someone, she’s made a list.It's A Boy Girl Thing
Par Anne Finnis. 2003
If you've ever wondered what boys really think of girls and what girls really think of boys, this is your…
chance to find out. Do boys think girls have a better dress sense? Do girls think boys are better at maths and science? And who has the most disgusting habits? Packed full of opinions, from the ridiculous to the frighteningly spot-on, this book might make you mad, it might make you laugh out loud and it will certainly surprise you.I, Robot: How to Be a Footballer 2
Par Peter Crouch. 2019
**A Daily Mail Book of the Year**What happens on the pitch is only half the story. Being a footballer is…
not just kicking a ball about with twenty-one other people on a big grass rectangle. Sometimes being a footballer is about accidentally becoming best mates with Mickey Rourke, or understanding why spitting is considered football’s most heinous crime.In How to be a Footballer, Peter Crouch took us into a world of bad tattoos and even worse haircuts, a world where you’re on the pitch one minute, spending too much money on a personalised number plate the next. In I, Robot, he lifts the lid even further on the beautiful game. We will learn about Gareth Bale’s magic beans, the Golden Rhombus of Saturday night entertainment, and why Crouchy’s dad walks his dog wearing an England tracksuit from 2005. Whether you’re an armchair expert, or out in the stands every Saturday, crazy for five-a-side or haven’t put on a pair of boots since school, this is the real inside story of how to be a footballer.I Never Knew There Was a Word For It
Par Adam Jacot de Boinod. 2010
From 'shotclog', a Yorkshire term for a companion only tolerated because he is paying for the drinks, to Albanian having…
29 words to describe different kinds of eyebrows, the languages of the world are full of amazing, amusing and illuminating words and expressions that will improve absolutely everybody's quality of life. All they need is this book! This bumper volume gathers all three of Adam Jacot de Boinod's acclaimed books about language - The Wonder of Whiffling, The Meaning of Tingo and Toujours Tingo (their fans include everyone from Stephen Fry to Michael Palin) - into one highly entertaining, keenly priced compendium. As Mariella Frostup said 'You'll never be lost for words again!'Is This Supposed to be Funny?
Par Hugleikur Dagsson. 2007
Hugleikur Dagsson is the most famous cartoonist in Iceland.Iceland is very cold, very bleak and very expensive. The only things…
to do there are drink and kill whales. Dagsson’s last book – Should you be laughing at this? – was a cu*t international bestseller. He hopes you likes this one. Otherwise he’ll have to kill some whales.Is This Some Kind of Joke?
Par Hugleikur Dagsson. 2008
Hugleikur Dagsson is the most famous cartoonist in Iceland.Iceland is very cold, very bleak and very expensive. The only things…
to do there are drink and kill whales. Dagsson’s last book – Is This Supposed To Be Funny? – was a cult international bestseller. He hopes you likes this one. Otherwise he’ll have to kill some whalesIs It Really Too Much To Ask? is the fifth book in Jeremy Clarkson's bestselling The World According to Clarkson…
series.Well, someone's got to do it: in a world which simply will not see reason, Jeremy sets off on another quest to beat a path of sense through all the silliness and idiocy. And there's no knowign what might catch Jeremy's eye along the way. It could be:-The merits of Stonehenge as a business model-Why all meetings are a waste of time-The theft of the Queen's cows-One Norwegian man's unique approach to showing his gratitude-Fitting a burglar alarm to a tortoise-Or how Lou Reed was completely wrong about what makes a perfect dayPithy and provocative, this is Clarkson at his best, taking issue with whatever nonsense gets in the way of his search for all that's worth celebrating. Why should we be forced to accept stuff that's a bit rubbish? Shouldn't things work? Why doesn't someone care? I mean, is it really too much to ask?It's a good thing we've still got Jeremy out there, still looking, without fear or favour, for the answers.Jeremy Clarkson becomes the hilarious voice of a nation once more in Is It Really Too Much To Ask?, Volume 5 of The World According To Clarkson, following bestselling titles The World According to Clarkson, And Another Thing, For Crying Out Loud and How Hard Can It Be?. Praise for Clarkson:'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time OutJeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. He now writes for the Sun and the Sunday Times and is the tallest person working in British television.Irish Male At Home And Abroad
Par Joseph O'Connor. 1971
The Irish Male at Home and Abroad is the hilarious sequel to Joe O'Connor's bestseller The Secret World of the…
Irish Male. From flirting lessons in downtown Manhattan to being offered a good ride in Disneyland by the now legendary Wanda, it was a long, strange and hilarious trip. Now, in The Irish Male at Home and Abroad, O'Connor returns faster, funnier and filthier than ever before.Impersonating Santa Claus in a busy Dublin store on Christmas Eve, spending a penny in Lord Jeffrey Archer's penthouse loo, traipsing the local-radio publicity circuit in 100-degree Australian heat, on the run in revolutionary Nicaragua, contemplating the Shroud of Turin, or making a deposit in a grotty sperm bank - here are tall tales and short stories: absurd, anarchic and unforgettably side-splitting adventures from home and abroad.Laugh-out-loud funny, yet always affectionate and sometimes poignant, O'Connor roams through an Ireland of wife-swapping sodomites and late-night sodalities, when not getting lost in the restless new Europe of beach holidays, terrible beauties and Baywatch lookalikes. It's going to be another weird and uproarious trip. But like Wanda once said: Hitch a ride, sweetheart, and hang on real tight!A History of Britain in Just a Minute
Par Gyles Brandreth. 2022
The story of us - without hesitation, repetition or deviation.Join national treasure and Just a Minute regular Gyles Brandreth on…
a hilariously addictive romp through British history. This isn't just another history book - there's a catch! From Stonehenge and Boudicca to Megxit and Brexit, each topic is written in 60-second installments, without hesitation, repetition, or deviation.A History of Britain in Just a Minute celebrates key moments, people and places from our past: kings and queens, heroes and villains, triumphs and disasters, inventions and events, battles and bonnets, art, science, literature, entertainment, sport, gossip, and more. Some entries are uninterrupted minutes, while others feature challenges for repetition and even, er...hesitation. You'll even find other Just a Minute panellists occasionally grabbing the pen to regale us with their witty takes on history.You've never heard the history of Britain told quite like this. You'll enjoy every uproarious minute of it.Hug a Slug or Snog a Frog?: A book of impossible choices
Par Chris P Bacon. 2013
What would YOU rather do - hug a slug OR snog a frog? Have hair made of soggy spaghetti OR…
a nose made of plasticine? Be best friends with the Incredible Hulk OR with Batman? This brilliantly funny and totally addictive collection of impossible choices will keep you entertained for hours!How to Woo a Duke: & be the talk of the ton
Par Lady Whistleblower. 2021
Shall we promenade? Dear Reader, Welcome to the definitive guide to navigating the social season. Learn about etiquette in all…
its forms. Within these abundant leaves you will be gifted with all the instruction and patronage necessary to take your place in society. Sort your Dandies from your Rakes, your Merry Andrews from your Bucks. All of the menagerie of beau monde's are contained within. So read on dearest reader and bury oneself in the pool of knowledge that will equip oneself to Woo a Duke and become the talk of the ton.Yours sincerelyLady WhistleblowerHow to Be Narstie
Par Big Narstie. 2020
Mans here to help you help yourself.Real talk. One thing you've got to know about advice: there are two types.…
Sometimes the people who give the most advice to others are the last people you should be listening to. They just love the sound of their own voice. No matter what the problem is, they'll just say: 'Believe in yourself, you can do anything.' And then ... well, then there's the kind of advice that's just the truth. That's the sort of advice you might get from this book, and I'll warn you sometimes the truth ain't pretty. In these pages I'm gonna tell you some of my story and show you how you can change yours: how to survive school, how to get a job, how to deal with family, friends, love and PAIN. How to live your own life, not someone else's.How to be Formula One Champion
Par Richard Porter. 2019
The first and only practical guide on how to become F1 Champion, for the millions of Grand Prix fans who…
have always dreamed of making it onto the podium. Are you the next Lewis Hamilton?How to be F1 Champion provides you with the complete guide to hitting the big time in top-flight motorsport, starting wiht the basics, including the correct look, how to manage your social media account, the art of champagne spraying and how to wear a massive watch. Then you'll be ready to learn more advanced skills such as inserting 'for sure' at the start of every sentence, talking about key sponsors while sounding like the force is draining from your body, and psychologically crushing your teammate without him noticing. How to be F1 Champion also sets out a strategy for hiring your entourage, and how to treat them once they're on the payroll. Helpful illustrations accompany the text throughout. See you on the podium!How to Survive Christmas
Par Jilly Cooper Obe. 1986
Christmas is looming:- Will your mother-in-law present you with yet another hideous jersey this year? - How are you going…
to cope with Granny's peke or the undesirable in-laws? - Has the row about where to spend the holiday already started, and it's only August?Jilly Cooper has the answer to everything. Whether you should seek refuge in the cooking sherry or suggest a wholesome family walk, Jilly offers advice in the way that only Jilly can.How to be a Politician: 2,000 Years of Good (and Bad) Advice
Par Vince Cable. 2022
'Always forgive your enemies - but never forget their names.' JFK'What do you want to be a sailor for? There…
are greater storms in politics than you will ever find at sea. Piracy, broadsides, blood on the decks. You will find them all in politics.' David Lloyd George'Unchallenged master of the self-inflicted wound.' Nicholas Soames on Boris Johnson, apropos his switch to campaigning for BrexitStructured to follow the arc of a life in politics - from childhood aspirations and first attempts at getting elected, to navigating the back benches, ascending the greasy pole, dealing with detractors, facing crises, and finally escaping - this unique collection weaves together the wittiest, wisest and most acerbic political quotations from the last 2,000 years. Punctuated throughout by candid insights from Sir Vince Cable, How to Be a Politician is a timeless and entertaining education in the dark arts of politics.The hilariously accurate, witty and indispensable manual for everyone who longs to attain True Britishness'Got me in tears of laughter'…
5***** Reader Review'Laugh-out-loud hilarious, witty and insightful' 5***** Reader Review_______Born in Hungary, George Mikes eventually spent more than forty years in the Britain observing behaviours and misbehaviours of local and foreign Brits.With essential chapters such as "How to Avoid Travelling", "On Shopping", "In Praise of Television", "On Not Complaining" and "How to Panic Quietly", you'll get to know Britain like never before. Loved by readers and authors alike, How to Be a Brit contains Mikes's three major works -- How to be an Alien, How to be Inimitable and How to be Decadent.If you're British, you'll love it; if you're a foreigner, you'll appreciate it. Queuing: "An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one." How to plan a town: "Street names should be painted clearly and distinctly on large boards. Then hide these boards carefully." Sex: "Continental people have sex lives: the English have hot water bottles."George Mikes's perceptive bestseller provides a complete guide to the British Way of Life._______'Hilarious and informative essays about the British way of life' 5***** Reader Review'So many people have tried to describe the English mentality . . . This book is as near as you can get!' 5***** Reader ReviewHow to Avoid a Wombat's Bum (Mitchell Symons' Trivia Books #1)
Par Mitchell Symons. 2006
Did you know THAT:The first ready-to-eat breakfast cereal was Shredded Wheat in 1893 (it beat Kellogg's Corn Flakes by just…
five years)Scarlett Johansson, Ashton Kutcher and Simon Cowell all have twin brothers.Everton were the first British football club to introduce a stripe down the side of their shorts.The word DUDE was coined by Oscar Wilde and his friends. It is a combination of the words 'duds' and 'attitude'.Well you do now! Filled with fantastic facts and figures to amaze and intrigue . . . once you start reading you'll be hooked for hours!How to Really be a Brit: The Unofficial Citizenship Test
Par No Context Brits. 2023
This is the perfect gift for the least traditional person in your life - or an affectionate nod to the…
most!'Whilst the biggest political figures and finest historians have struggled for over a century to truly define what "being British" is, No Context Brits manages to do it five times a week, easily, on Twitter' CAITLIN MORAN Do you know what year the Harrier jump jet was developed?What about the name of the first king of Scotland? Surely you must know the contents of the 1969 Bill of Rights?! Don't know the answers? Sorry, according to the Home Office, you're clearly not cut out to be a British Citizen. These inane questions have been posed by the Life in the UK test, more commonly known as the British citizenship test. If only there was an alternative test that wasn't stuck revelling in past glories . . . one that was fun, irreverent and unafraid to offer a glimpse of real life in the UK.How to Really be Brit is the unofficial citizenship test from the beloved No Context Brits Twitter account. You'll find 500 questions taking in every aspect of UK life - from Wrexham to Windrush, Bake Off to Brexit, scotch eggs to the Spice Girls and more.