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Vampire Taxonomy
Par Meredith Woerner. 2009
Now that millions have read and seen Twilight, where do they turn for vampire advice? This wry, witty, fully illustrated,…
and bloody essential guide. Vampires are all around-books, movies, TV, comics- infiltrating our culture like never before. But what happens if one should run into a real vamp on the street? Vampire Taxonomy is the best defense against a fatal encounter in the dark. For the reader's protection, Meredith Woerner reveals the truth about: ?Sunlight sensitivity-Do vamps venture out in the day or stick solely to the evening hours? ?Physiology-When ready to feed, do they change appearance or simply lure with the seductive flash of a fang? ?Dress-Are they decked out in leather with aspirations of becoming the first vampire rock stars or do they cling to Gothic robes and ruffled collars? ?Diet-Are they waging a never-ending struggle against the temptation of human blood or do they view the world as their personal blood buffet? .Shut Up He Explained
Par John Metcalf. 2007
John Metcalf's Shut Up He Explained defies expectations and strict definition. Part memoir, part travelogue, part criticism -- wholly Metcalf…
-- it is thoughtful, engaged, contentious and often very funny. It offers a full does of Metcalfian wisdom and wit, and provides ample evidence that neither age nor indifference nor attack have withered him: he remains as sharp, critical, constructive and insightful as ever. Indeed, this may just be his most important and engaged book. Certainly it will be among his most controversial. What his critics will refuse to see, of course, is that it is also among his most positive, that it is a celebration of the best literature Canada has to offer, the birth of which Metcalf himself both witnesses and actively encouraged. Shut Up He Explained is magisterial, a virtuoso performance melding several seemingly different strands into one coherent narrative, which should delight and entertain as it serves to argue, elucidate and celebrate.How to Throw a Golf Club: Learn to Throw for Distance and Accuracy
Par Tom Carey. 2006
Club throwing is an art! It relieves stress, burns calories and it keeps the other players on the course on…
their toes. So there's no need to lie, no need to be embarrassed. You're a club thrower--welcome to the club.Here's your official guide to the art of club throwing, and it includes:--Throwing clubs for distance and accuracy--Club throwing Q&A--The 20 basic throws --What to do when you're REALLY teed offSecret Lives of Great Filmmakers
Par Robert Schnakenberg, Mario Zucca. 2010
Strange-But-True Tales of Cross-Dressers, Drug Addicts, Foot Fetishists, and Other Legendary Filmmakers. With outrageous and uncensored profiles of everyone from…
D. W. Griffith to Quentin Tarantino, Secret Lives of Great Filmmakers reveals the little-known secrets of all your favorite directors. Why did Charlie Chaplin refuse to bathe for weeks at a time? Was Alfred Hitchcock really missing a belly button? Is Walt Disney's corpse preserved in a state of suspended animation? And why on earth did Francis Ford Coppola direct a 3-D pornographic movie? The legends of the silver screen will never be the same!How to Fail in Literature
By Andrew Lang.
The Second Thoughts of An Idle Fellow
By Jerome K. Jerome.
Niubi!
Par Eveline Chao. 2009
How to talk dirty and influence people?in Chinese! You can study Chinese for years, but do you really know how…
to talk like a native speaker? The next book in Plume?s foreign language slang series, Niubi! will make sure you learn all the colorful vernacular words and phrases used by Chinese people of all ages in a variety of situations, including flirting and dating, wheeling and dealing, and even specific Internet slang?not to mention plenty of Chinese words that are . . . well, best not to mention. Accessible and useful to complete novices (Niubi! newbies), intermediate students of Mandarin Chinese, or just anyone who enjoys cursing in other languages, this irreverent guide is packed with hilarious anecdotes and illustrations, mini cultural lessons, and contextual explanations. So whether you?re planning a trip to Beijing, flirting with an online acquaintance from Shanghai, or just want to start a fight in Chinatown?Niubi! will ensure that nothing you say is lost in translation.Idle Ideas in 1905
By Jerome K. Jerome.
Career-Limiting Moves
Par Zachariah Wells. 2013
By turns celebratory and sceptical, Career Limiting Moves is a selection of essays and reviews drawn from a decade of…
immersion in Canadian poetry. Inhabiting a milieu in which unfriendly remarks are typically spoken sotto voce-if at all-Wells has consistently said what he thinks aloud. The pieces in this collection comprise revisionist assessments of some big names in Canadian Poetry (Margaret Atwood, Lorna Crozier, Don McKay and Patrick Lane, among others); satirical ripostes parrying others' critical views (Andre Alexis, Erin Moure, Jan Zwicky); substantial appraisals of underrated or near-forgotten poets (Charles Bruce, Kenneth Leslie, Peter Sanger, John Smith, Peter Trower, Peter Van Toorn); assessments of promising debuts (Suzanne Buffam, Pino Coluccio, Thomas Heise, Peter Norman) and much else besides-including a few surprises for anyone who thinks they have Wells's taste figured out.Zachariah Wells is the editor of Jailbreaks: 99 Canadian Sonnets and the author of two collections of poetry.The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance
Par Elna Baker. 2009
Writer, actress, and gorgeous stand up comedian: Introducing the Mormon Tina Fey It's lonely being a Mormon in New York…
City. So once again, Elna Baker attends the New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance-a virgin in a room full of virgins doing the Macarena. Her Queen Bee costume, which involves a black funnel stuck to her butt for a stinger, isn't attracting the attention she'd anticipated. So once again, Elna is alone at the punch bowl, stocking up on generic Oreos, exactly where you'd expect to find a single Mormon who's also a Big Girl. But loneliness is nothing compared to what happens when she loses eighty pounds. . . . and falls in love with an atheist. The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Danceis the memoir of a girl who distresses her family when she chooses NYU over BYU. A girl who's cultivating an oxymoronic identity as a bold, educated, modern, funny, proper, abstinent, religious stand-up comic, equal parts wholesome and hot. As Elna test-drives her identity, she finds herself in the strangest scenarios including selling creepy, overpriced dolls to petulant children at FAO Schwarz and dressing a head wound with a maxi pad while on a date.Coffee and Repartee
Par John Kendrick Bangs. 2012
This is the story of what happens when men who think themselves smarter than they are face off against a…
man who's smarter than he seems. Set entirely in the dining room of a cheap boarding house, Coffee and Repartee chronicles the clever, funny, competitive table talk of the boarders. Formal credentials and personal pretensions to mental superiority all crumble in the face of precisely the right come-back, time after timeThe Bicyclers and Three Other Farces
Par John Kendrick Bangs. 2012
Three farcical plays by the American author and satirist, and the creator of modern Bangsian fantasy, the school of fantasy…
writing that sets the plot wholly or partially in the afterlife.All You Need to Be Impossibly French
Par Powell, Helena Frith. 2006
The allure of the Frenchwoman—sexy, sophisticated, flirtatious, and glamorous—is legendary. More than an eye for fashion or a taste for…
elegance, the French je ne sais quoi embodies the essential ingredients for looking and feeling beautiful. With wit, whimsy, and wonder, British expatriate Helena Frith Powell uncovers the secrets of chic living in All You Need to Be Impossibly French, a cheeky guide to releasing your inner Frenchwoman. Delving deep into a mysterious realm of face creams, silk lingerie, and shopping-as-exercise, Powell reveals how French women stay impossibly thin and irresistibly sexy by achieving the maximum effect from the minimum amount of effort. Forget diet and inspiration books and style guides—this is all you need to embrace the wisdom of French living, and learn how to turn every day into la petite aventure. .Mr. Munchausen
Par John Kendrick Bangs. 2012
Being a True Account of Some of the Recent Adventures Beyond the Styx of the Late Hieronymus Carl Friedrich, Sometime…
Baron Munchausen of Bodenwerder, as originally reported for the Sunday Edition of the Gehenna Gazette by its special interviewer the late Mr. Ananias formerly of Jerusalem, and now first transcribed from the columns of that journal by J. K. Bangs,Twitterature
Par Alexander Aciman, Emmett Rensin. 1990
Perhaps while reading Shakespeare you've asked yourself, What exactly is Hamlet trying to tell me? Why must he mince words…
and muse in lyricism and, in short, whack about the shrub? But if the Prince of Denmark had a Twitter account and an iPhone, he could tell his story in real time--and concisely! Hence the genius of Twitterature. Hatched in a dorm room at the brain trust that is the University of Chicago, Twitterature is a hilarious and irreverent re-imagining of the classics as a series of 140-character tweets from the protagonist. Providing a crash course in more than eighty of the world's best-known books, from Homer to Harry Potter, Virgil to Voltaire, Tolstoy to Twilight and Dante to The Da Vinci Code. It's the ultimate Cliffs Notes. Because as great as the classics are, who has time to read those big, long books anymore? Sample tweets: From Hamlet: WTF IS POLONIUS DOING BEHIND THE CURTAIN??? From the Harry Potter series: Oh man big tournament at my school this year!! PSYCHED! I hope nobody dies this year, and every year as if by clockwork. From The Great Gatsby: Gatsby is so emo. Who cries about his girlfriend while eating breakfast...IN THE POOL?The Modern Jewish Girl's Guide to Guilt
Par Ruth Andrew Ellenson. 2005
Twenty-eight of today's top Jewish women writers tell the truth about all the things their rabbis warned them never to…
discuss in public in this hilarious and provocative collection. Includes original essays on: * Finding (and Divorcing) the Perfect Jewish Man * Not Calling Your Mother * Marrying a German * Failing to Supply Enough Grandchildren * Learning to RSVP No * And many other guilty pleasures . . . Includes pieces by: Elisa Albert, Aimee Bender, Jennifer Bleyer, Kera Bolonik, Rabbi Sharon Brous, Baz Dreisinger, Pearl Gluck, Rebecca Goldstein, Lori Gottlieb, Lauren Grodstein, Dara Horn, Molly Jong-Fast, Rachel Kadish, Jenna Kalinsky, Cynthia Kaplan, Binnie Kirshenbaum, Amy Klein, Daphne Merkin, Tova Mirvis, Gina Nahai, Katie Rophie, Francesca Segré, Wendy Shanker, Laurie Gwen Shapiro, Susan Shapiro, Ayelet Waldman, Rebecca Walker, Sheryl ZohnThe Autobiography of Methuselah
Par John Kendrick Bangs. 2012
Having recently passed into what my great-grandson Shem calls my Anecdotage, it has occurred to me that perhaps some of…
the recollections of a more or less extended existence upon this globular[1] mass of dust and water that we are pleased to call the earth, may prove of interest to posterity, and I have accordingly, at [2]the earnest solicitation of my grandson, Noah, and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japhet, consented to put them into permanent literary form.Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Par Jerome K. Jerome. 2012
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow is a collection of humorous essays by Jerome K. Jerome. It was the author's…
second published book and it helped establish him as a leading English humorist.Happily Ever After: A Light-hearted Guide to Wedded Bliss
Par Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall, Stephanie Von Reiswitz. 2010
Does he habitually leave his socks on the bathroom floor? Does she insist on interrupting your favourite programme to make…
you explain the plot (when she's clearly not interested in it anyway)? Never fear. For, as Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall shows, a good marriage is all in the detail. Happily Ever After takes a humorous look at the ups and downs of marriage, offering sage advice on everything from backseat driving to dealing with the in-laws. It combines stories and tips collected from couples of all ages with the wise and witty musings of generations of writers who have experienced the same joys and pains - from George Bernard Shaw to Jane Austen, and Nancy Mitford to Groucho Marx. Whether you are about to be married, or celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary, this charming, funny book will keep you and your other half entertained til death do you part...Please Don’t Let Me Be the Oldest Mom in the PTA: Stories about mid-life motherhood
Par Sharon O’Donnell. 2018
Motherhood is not what it used to be as more moms than ever before are having children later on…
in life This is the must-have book for all moms who had a child after the age of 35 a group the medical profession not-so-kindly calls advanced maternal age Sharon O Donnell writes about the humorous and poignant stories of having a child at 38 and how she discovered that breastfeeding and AARP membership aren t really all that far apart Sharon says being a mom of a certain age can be tough and rewarding and rather alarming when you realize that all the TV programs you watch have commercials for incontinence or the Scooter Store